Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Baek Seung Jo Diary 10

Please give full credit when reposting, thanks!
A bit fast eh? kekeke.. We skipped from Diary no. 3 to Diary no. 10! haha, but no worries, I assure you that this diary will knock you off your feet! Thanks to blissfulwishes from soompi for translating it! This could be my favorite diary so far. I LOVE IT!!!!

 DIARY NO. 10
 
"I'll call soon, Mother."
"I'm going, EunJo-yah."
Those words that I hope will reach you...

My eyes are looking at you, but you, like a fool...
You're so caught up in your sadness that you don't look at me at all...

You can't hang on to me childishly like EunJo
You can't tell me to stay healthy like Mother...
Like you, I'm such a fool that I can't even tell you to take care of yourself while I'm gone. I can only look at you...
In order to get somewhere farther in the future, I have to stoop down and gather my strength. And then let's fly as high as we can with all of our might. Both of us...
I'll be looking forward to how many days it takes for you to find me!
Work hard to find me~! 

--

Your sad face that made it seem like you would never see me again... and yet, you finally found your way here.
It's been a while. The sound of you raising a timid hand to say "Hi!"
The sound of you invading my mind without permission.

Had I been waiting for you without knowing I was waiting?
The reason for being so happy to see your face.

--

Maybe I like you?
What do I mean to you... for you to follow me around like this.

Without looking back, without thinking of anything... you just continue to go forward.
 
Noah's snail. Oh HaNi.

But why don't you strike me as bothersome?

It's fun to sneak a glance at you while I'm working.

Sipping your coffee as you clutch the cup tightly with two hands.
Ah~Ham! Stifling your slight yawns with your hand.
The way you shake your head slightly and rack your brain frustratedly when you come across a problem that you don't know on your homework.

You keep yourself entertained well. Oh HaNi.

Maybe it's like a habit now.
Your being like air... next to me.
Always standing there, just like a tree.

--

I wonder what's happened?
I haven't seen HaNi for a few days now.

Is she sick?
I don't think she would be studying.
Waiting for someone is such an anxious thing.
Was it always this difficult for you?

Waiting for me.

Where are you?
Really...

--

It feels like my leg is suspended in mid-air... however hard I try, I can't concentrate on my work.
It's already been a fortnight since HaNi last showed up to the restaurant.
Am I missing her?
What about her?
Or, is it just because I'm worried that someone who frequents the restaurant is no longer showing up?
Is it just that?
My mind keeps wandering, as if it's lost its way.

Every time I hear the door open, my ears perk up.
I watch for you all day.

--

Like a fool... so stupid...
You should have just come and asked me directly.

You must have been suffering by yourself for so long... your face looks so worn out and pale.
You're the one who's hurt... then why does my chest feel so tight?
My heart goes out to you. Really...
I knew that you would be like this - it's good that I looked for you first.

Don't be hurt because of Yoon HaeRa. You fool.

Can't you just trust yourself a little bit more?

The brave and courageous girl who works so hard at everything... Oh HaNi.
The girl with lots of love who can shed a tear for anyone... Oh HaNi.
The only one in this world... the precious Oh HaNi.
Your self...

Maybe I shouldn't be saying anything.
After all, I misunderstood the situation with you and KyungSoo sunbae earlier.

Why are we like this?
If we just thought a little bit more, it would all be so clear.
Being prematurely angry... being concerned about the most trivial things.

Me... have I caught a "being-a-fool-towards-Oh-HaNi" disease?

--

Really. Unbelievable.

It hasn't even been a day since you found out that HaeRa and I weren't living together, and here you are.

Through that heavy rain, your lips slightly tinged blue...

How did you bear it this entire time?
Wanting to come here

Really, you...
 

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